Private and Confidential

This letter is strictly confidential and for the eyes of the addressee only

Dear Mrs. Addams,

I’m writing to inform you of the results from your daughter’s last visit. I am terribly sorry to tell you she has come down with, as I expected, The Smile. As cases are so rare, proper treatment has not been developed, but I ask that you keep a watchful eye on her. The Smile has been known to have drastic symptoms.

The Smile can result in fits of uncontrollable laughter, and even a permanent state of happiness. We aren’t entirely sure of the cause, but it is extremely contagious. We do warn you, and the rest of your family, to be cautious and to look for early signs that may point to development of The Smile. These early signs can include; a slight warm feeling in your chest, a slight change in mood, usually from the customary gloomy state to a slightly more elevated state of, in medical terms, ‘joy’, but seeing as The Smile is so rare there could be many more symptoms, that doctors are unaware of, in existence.

This is as much information as I can provide, I’m terribly sorry. Your daughter must live with this condition for the rest of her life. We can only hope that it doesn’t interfere with her familiar way of living. The Smile, unfortunately, has been known to extend the length of ones life, but each case has shown to be different.

If you would like for your daughter to be a part of our ongoing research for a cure, please write back immediately, if not we ask that you refrain from exposing her to the public, as her condition will affect everyone around her.

We hope your day is dark and gloomy and we send you our condolences,

Dr. Doom and the rest of the staff from the Caliginous Clinic.

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One thought on “Private and Confidential

  1. Tomcamp aka grandad says:

    Thank you for this highly informative piece. It almost caused me, dare I say it, to smile. But I quickly returned to my normal gloomy, grumpy self. Forewarned is forearmed. Information like this is helpful to all society. Thank you

    Like

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