What A Privilege It Is To Love

So I did the thing I’d been wanting to do for awhile! I got a tattoo! Wow how crazy. I would say sorry mom and dad, but they were very very supportive, so all I have to say is thank you ūüôā

Love is this crazy rollercoaster – I talk about that magical feeling a whole lot on this here blog. It’s my all time favorite feeling. When I was in high school I remember giving a chapel talk all about the power of love and how incredible of a feeling it is. I never regret loving others – I mean how could you regret sharing your heart with someone else?

My heart is a little too big for my own good way too much of the time, but I don’t think that’s such a bad thing. I am ridiculously empathetic; I feel everything ((pretty much all the time)). I cry at those beer commercials where there’s some sort of magical bond between a muscular man and yellow lab. I mean, come on, how could you not cry at those things? I cry at almost every movie I watch – like multiple times per movie. I cry a heck-of-a-lot; it’s pretty therapeutic, I recommend a good cry every once in awhile.

This semester, I’ve tried really hard to love as hard as I can. (If that makes sense). I’m just throwing love at people, like¬†hey take some of this!¬†The beautiful quote inked on my arm is from a song called Two by the incredible Sleeping At Last. It’s a song specifically written for my enneagram number,¬†two if you couldn’t guess. I’m a little obsessed with enneagram numbers, please take the quiz you will learn so so so much about yourself. But the song is all about loving others and attempting to fix the brokenness in those around us with the power of our hearts. The artist describes my type as having a superpower to love. I¬†love¬†that description (teehee).

When people leave my life for reasons I don’t understand my heart aches. When friends decide I’m too much it makes me rethink who I am. Do I pay my friends too much attention? Do I hold them to higher standards because I know the good they are capable of? I know I’ve said this before, but at what point is my love too much? I’m not a clingy person, but when I’m close with people I care for them the way most people care for their family – those people become my everything and I would fight anyone that tried to hurt them. That’s just who I am. I’m a Hufflepuff, we’re pretty freaking loyal.

I would love someone until it killed me. It’s a¬†privilege¬†to share this life with others; it is a¬†blessing¬†to love and to be loved. When my head starts becoming messy and my heart hurts a little too much, I now have a written reminder of what is important to pull me out of that darkness.

I always wear my heart on my sleeve, but now everyone else can see it too.

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STAYIN’ BUSY

“Hey Lizzy, can you hang out tonight?”

“Nothing’s on my calendar!”

“Okay, so that means you have at least four meetings all scheduled at the same time.”

My friend Steven CAME AFTER me yesterday!!! I hate it because he’s right. I am an over-committer through and through. In highschool I said yes to¬†everything¬†because I really liked being involved. Plus once I was home I had my down time! College is a whole-nother story ((I feel like I’m always saying that in posts))

I genuinely do love being involved; I think it’s a total party being able to be involved in so many different facets of school. I’m in an acapella group, I’m in a sorority, I’m starring-in/filming/directing a TV show that I wrote, I’m training for a half-marathon, and attempting to stay on top of school work and still fitting in free time to hang out with my friends.

That was exhausting for my to type, so it¬†must¬†be exhausting to live, right? Two nights ago, I did laundry at one in the morning, because I didn’t have any other time (where washers were open) to do it! ((thank goodness my friends came to keep me company)).

I got really good at time management in high school, so I think I’m a healthy busy bee. But being busy does mean I don’t have a whole lot of room for error. If something goes wrong in my (very tightly packed) schedule. Then something has to go – and I¬†hate¬†cancelling. I am very much a “yes” girl. I say yes to pretty much everything and anything; in high school my therapist made me say no to three things a week just to practice doing it. I definitely know my limits now and what I want to be committing myself to, but it’s college! There’s so much I want to do! And I just want to do it all now! Right???

Sometimes I look at my schedule and wonder how I do it. Like honestly, how am I a functioning human being with all this stuff? Even though I’m doing really well with it all rn, I know that I need to be careful. This could be a slippery slope.

I’m really tired! Like actually completely worn out. I wish I could do it all, but I know that sometimes I just need to sit by myself in an empty fourth-floor lounge and watch Netflix. ((i.e what I’ve been doing the past hour)) This is the first time all week I’ve had genuine down time – and I know I could go out with my sorority sisters and have a fun night out, or go to my acapella group’s girl’s night in, but I honestly just want a nice calm Friday night where I can go to bed at a reasonable hour and prep for the overbooking I have coming up tomorrow.